I'm six months out from diagnosis (8.24.22), seven years out from original diagnosis (2.25.16), and I feel like I'm doing well. I am at the oncologist a lot while we figure out my medicine dosing and schedule, but I feel okay on all my medicines. I'm working full time, and Jason and I have traveled some. I have had to take time off of running due to pain and had been very discouraged. Running is my stress relief. It's my time with God. It's time with friends. It gives me a competitive outlet. It challenges me. And honestly, I only have two hobbies so losing one has been tough. Over the past couple of weeks (thanks to rest, meloxicam, PEMF, and acupuncture), I have finally felt some improvement and have been able to run a few miles at a time. I'm very thankful for that.
I'd be lying if I said I don't feel anxious. I think about cancer and death every single day. Every day that goes by puts me closer to my last day on earth. And while that's true for everyone, I'm very aware of it because I know more than likely what I'll die of. I wonder how I'll feel in a month, in a year. When will I have the PET scan that shows progression? Will I make it to 50? Will I be here next year? With that being said, I think I have years left in me, and I don't think I'm dying soon. I do want to be comfortable with the idea of my own death, though. I went to a class at church that had a lawyer, financial advisor, funeral home director, and hospice administrator come in to speak. It was really informative, and it helped me get my head around the "practical" side of dying.
I can work my way out of anxious thoughts, thankfully. I have a firm foundation in God, which helps tremendously. I know He is with me. I also don't want to waste my time here on earth being worried and sad. We all have limited time, and I choose for my time to be filled with joy.
I've prayed for God to grant me patience as he builds my testimony. I've prayed for Him to give me a testimony that will help lead others to Him. Please pray the same!
