Two Years - 8.24.24 - & Maine/Sugarloaf Recap

Two years! Two years of living with MBC. Two years of thinking about dying. Two years of praying scans show nothing new. Two years of living in three-month spans. Two years of learning how to live a normal life when reality doesn't feel normal. But I'm here. I'm still alive and doing my best to thrive! 

When I first went through cancer, I felt really alone. Majority of people never checked in to see how I was doing. I thought after being dx with stage 4 cancer that people would care more, check in more. It's been hard for me to accept how little people have checked in on me. I tell myself it's because my life is so normal that people forget, which is a good thing. I want my life to be normal. Or maybe I haven't checked in on friends enough when they were going through hard times. Or maybe people are just scared of cancer and want to keep it out of their life. Or maybe I just need to accept this is just how people are, including myself. I know I haven't done the best job of checking in on friends. I know I need to do better and make sure people feel cared about. We all have things going on and forget to check in on others. I don't say any of this to make anyone feel bad or get sympathy. I say this because it's been interesting for me to see this happen, and it's also made me try to be a better family member, friend, neighbor. 

But on to the health update. My last scan in July showed nothing new, nothing active. I cried when I received the news because I thought I had a new lesion on my coccyx. I was so relieved to get good news. I've now graduated to scans every four months!

In the past year, the remaining pain/discomfort I was having has pretty much gone away. Every now and then, I feel a twinge, but for the most part, I forget about the bone and nerve damage. But thanks to that pain going away, I have been able to get back to running ... and also being able to stand up straight from sitting in one movement! I have prayed for God to continue to heal me and work miracles in me so that my testimony is undeniable. The only way I know it's been possible for me to get back to marathon running is through God's grace and healing. 

Mom and I traveled to Maine in May so I could run the Sugarloaf marathon in an attempt to qualify for Boston. Mom has been adamant through everything that I would make it back. So, we spent Mother's Day weekend with me trying to do that. It was a truly special trip. There was a big solar storm, and we were treated to the Aurora Borealis dancing right over our cabin. Some tears may have been shed at the unexpected surprise and the beauty of the lights. 

I felt like seeing the lights was a sign of good things to come. I woke up race day to a beautiful morning with much cooler temps than we had been having back home. I jogged the half mile from our cabin to the race start and was ready to get some redemption after DNFing this race back in 2012. This would also be my first full after the MBC dx and not knowing a year before if I'd run again. The gun went off, and we were off! The miles clicked along, as I enjoyed the beauty around me and focused on being grateful for making it back to something I love. I saw my mom multiple times along the course and enjoyed looking for her as I ran. I was on my goal pace through mile 20, but I could feel the wheels coming off. I told myself we had not traveled that far and I had not already run 20 miles just to watch my BQ go out the window. I held on and finished in 3:33, a few minutes slower than my goal, but a BQ nonetheless. I cried as my mom hugged me at the end. This run was for her - my steadfast cheerleader. Hopefully, my cushion is enough to get me into Boston!

With two amazing things complete, we were now hoping for the trifecta - just had to find a moose! When I say I screamed when we came across one, I literally screamed. I couldn't believe there was a moose in the road. Trifecta complete - Aurora Borealis, BQ, moose. What a trip, and it wasn't even complete yet!

From Eustis (Sugarloaf), we headed back to Boston by way of the coast. We explored a couple of state parks, saw lighthouses, visited Kennebunkport, and enjoyed the Marginal Way in Ogunquit. Marginal Way is one of my fave places now - the trail has unbelievable views, and I could have sat on one of the benches for hours.

From there, we stayed in Portsmouth where I got to see my dear friends Hannah and Renee. Hannah and I were both diagnosed back in 2016 and became friends through a virtual group. We were able to meet in person during a Boston marathon weekend. When she recurred as stage 4, it broke my heart - not my sweet Hannah. How could my breastie, my birthday twin be stage 4? Life just isn't fair. She was one of the first people I reached out to when I was diagnosed with MBC. Her knowledge has been invaluable, and I cherish our friendship so much. I think I hugged her so hard I almost broke her! I met Renee through Hannah and was so glad we finally got to meet in person. She is so special to me, and it was so nice to be able to give her a hug!

If you made it to the end, thanks for reading - it was a long one! I just ask for your continued prayers for healing for me, for Hannah, for Renee, and for all those going through MBC. The pic of us above is a pic of three women just desperately wanting to live long lives with our families and friends. We are in dire need of more research to find new treatments and a cure. Please consider donating to Metavivor in celebration of me making it two years!